domingo, 13 de mayo de 2007

La Alineación de los planetas

Se estaba masturbando.

El ventilador del techo daba vueltas y más vueltas, y le parecía que en la oscuridad de la noche era complicado adivinar a cual de las tres velocidades iría el ventilador. Resultaba desconcertante el hecho de imbuirse en un ambiente tan veraniego a estas alturas de octubre. El ventilador giraba, en la calle el calor era sofocante, y la oscuridad cavernosa de la habitación solo era puesta en duda por la luz amarilla que entraba a través de la ventana, irrumpiendo como el sonido de una escopeta de cañón recortado en una de las muchas sucursales del Zentralbank.

Por un momento, tuvo la visión de que se trataba de un cuadro del barroco italiano, uno de esos cuadros llenos de claroscuros cargados de simbolismo religioso, de posturas forzadas y dramáticos y expresivos gestos. Pensó en un titulo para aquel cuadro, aunque se tiró al tópico fácil de frases de doble sentido, evidenciando la actitud del pintor. “El día que se me ocurra un buen título, entonces pintaré el cuadro”.

Llegados a este punto, se hace necesario explicar que había llegado a un estado en el que su cerebro se había disociado completamente. Por un lado, su parte menos reflexiva estaba centrada en el acto en sí. En recuerdos, acciones anteriores, en hechos relacionados. Sin embargo, y completamente fuera de control, su parte más racional divagaba a sus anchas, como quien comienza a adoptar extrañas posturas en el sofá de una sala de espera.

Tres segundos antes de que el orgasmo comenzase, tuvo la sensación de que estaba alcanzando otro nivel. Era como si todas las acciones que estuviesen ocurriendo en aquellos momentos en su universo tuviesen que ser necesariamente así. Dientes perfectos de un engranaje. La velocidad indeterminada del ventilador. El estridente chorro de luz desde la calle. Los pasos de los transeúntes noctámbulos. La luz azul que reflejaba en el vidrio de su puerta desde la televisión del cuarto de sus padres. Los ronquidos de su abuelo en la habitación contigua. Y las sirenas de la policía, muy lejos.... que estaba viviendo un momento único e irrepetible, como el sexto segundo del sexto minuto de las seis de la mañana de junio del año 6666. Los planetas acababan de alinearse.

Fue al cuarto de baño, se aseo un poco y se acostó. El cerebro ya no funcionaba, todo le resultaba de lapidante color blanco. Se durmió sonriendo.

Texto: Cucaracha Amarilla (Vladimir Iosevic Poliakov Andropova)

Fotografía: Cucaracha Inspiratriz (Aída Quiensinó)



31 comentarios:

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De donde surge la inspiración para estos relatos? La experiencia personal, una empatía patológica? No se para qué quieres que lo comente, es bueno; no buenísimo, pero bueno. Aunque, el que más me ha gustado, el poema "Abril", creo que se llamaba. Lo he leído por encima; así que volveré a releerlo con más tiempo. Avísame cuando lo actualices.
PS: ahora mismo he abierto un blog, al hacerme la cuenta, se llama lautreamontosade, pero ya te avisaré cuando (si) añado algo.
Feliz equinoccio de verano, o lo que sea

Anónimo dijo...

Curioso! A mi me pasa lo mismo pero con las elecciones (no erecciones). ¿eso o es la llegada del calor? en fin, la perfeccion, amigo, está en eliminar a Caravaggio, aunque sea una mancha de nacimiento.
Mientras espero otro de tus detalles en el blog, consultaré cuando es la proxima alineación.
Buona Notte!!!

Eme dijo...

No puedo comentarte a la ligera. No lo hice durante el taller -y eso que el hecho de no hacerlo implicaba, con casi total certeza, que me quedara con las ganas; el tiempo apremiaba...-, y con menos motivo voy a hacerlo ahora, que ya puedo tomármelo con calma. Así que lo he leído ya cuatro o cinco veces, fíjate.

Me gusta. Por el ventilador, por la penumbra rembrandtina (antes te hablaba de Caravaggio, pero ahora estoy segura de que se trata del holandés); por esa especie de teatralidad íntima(la luz, la tele, los ronquidos...), por el paralelismo entre orgasmo y alineación planetaria (espero que lo primero sea más frecuente que lo segundo, todo sea dicho), porque los chorros de luz también pueden ser "estridentes" (¡bravo!), porque "abundan las sucursales de Zentralbank" y eso viene bien para contextualizar (aunque el territorio abarcado sea vastísimo)...y por una serie de detalles más que no es preciso enumerar.

Como soy un poco tiquismiquis, y para que no todo sea bueno, te sugiero que en "Llegados a este punto, se hace necesario explicar que había Llegado a un estado...",sustituyas uno de los dos verbos por otro. Repeticiones innecesrias, ya sabes. Y aquí, en "La luz azul que reflejaba en el vidrio de su puerta desde la televisión del cuarto de sus padres", hay algo que no me cuadra. Ah, y al "aseo" del último párrafo me da que se le ha volado la tilde.

Creo que ya está todo dicho -al menos lo más importante-. Me parece un buen trabajo, en serio. No sabía que las cucarachas, además de amarillas fueran talentosas.

Continuaremos.

Anónimo dijo...

la luz amarilla que entraba a través de la ventana...
La luz azul que reflejaba en el vidrio de su puerta...
todo le resultaba de lapidante color blanco. Se durmió sonriendo...


*¿sabías que a eva le habría encantado ser pintora?


desde la más fría objetividad se te queda una sonrisa tranquila al final del relato. Directo. Recto. Muy bonito (etc.)

Cucaracha Amarilla (Vladimir Poliakov) dijo...

muchas gracias, enserio, es algo de lo que me he quedado orgulloso

Anónimo dijo...

Cucarachas! Producción, ya!
Quiero trabajo, arte, algo! Basta de vaguear y vagabundear sin producir.

Actualización!
Actualización!
Actualización!

Sierra dijo...

¡Ah...! Pero qué interesantirijillo... A ver qué más hay en prosa.

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